If you've ever watched one of the nature channels and seen whatkind of behavior male animals elicit to attract a mate, you mightfeel differently about the behavior women see every day. Try andpicture a group of men with hard hats standing around a constructionsite walking in circles with their heads bobbing up and down whileshaking their rear ends and whistling. This is no figment of ourimagination. It is pretty much what we see everywhere.
Men are apparently born with two languages, native tongue andcatcall. (Now before all you men start writing me hate mail, realizethat I do understand that this isn't a language spoken by all men,just some.) Catcall is an amazing language, understood by one genderand despised by the other.
Can you imagine if women were to learn the language how oursociety would change? Men would walk past the nail salon with a half-dozen women craning out the door whistling and yelling, 'Hey, baby,how about those buns?' This might be a welcome change.
'Sex in The City' had a great episode on this topic. Amanda goesby the same construction site (where the language is best spoken andunderstood) in Manhattan every day to whistles and catcalls. One day,while feeling unattractive and unwanted, she decides to confront oneof them and take him up on the offer. She proceeded to yell back,'Bring it on, honey. You want a date? Put your money where your mouthis.'
The man was dumbfounded and speechless. He stood there with hismouth wide open. Only after looking like a deer in headlights, was heable to respond, his ploy exposed. 'Hey, lady, take it easy. I am amarried man.' It was beautiful. Talk about a catcall having a 'cat-got-your-tongue' moment.
Yes, I am convinced it is a second language or, at the very least,a sport. While vacationing recently in North Carolina, I ran with agroup of women every day. Each morning, horns beeped, men whistledand yelled. And not just once. With my blonde beautiful baby sitterin tow, it sounded like a traffic jam in the middle of Manhattan atrush hour.
The real surprise for me was when I was running alone and a middle-aged man driving a minivan with 'My Son Is An Honor Roll Student'bumper sticker slowed down to almost a stop while he was waving tome. I wondered what the chances were that I knew someone here inNorth Carolina. And what does this guy really think is going tohappen?
So what do I do, wave back? Do I ignore him in the event that heis a psychopath? But then again, what if it is someone I know? Sonaturally, I just keep going. With my luck, it will turn out to beone of my long-lost cousins.
On another occasion, I nearly got mowed down by a car full ofyounger boys hanging out the sunroof and screaming obscenities (at 7a.m., mind you). The first time wasn't bad, but the third time? I didmanage to get their license plate, and when the police followed up,their answer was that they were yelling to me because they lost theirhat. Their parents went in and vouched for them. OK, must have beensome valuable hat.
Yes, catcall is also a universal language. It translates the same,regardless of the tongue spoken in virtually every country on Earth.While traveling in South America, a group of us were followed by fourmen for almost 2 miles while they yelled, screamed and whistled. Itgets better. They were police officers, and I'm not sure theirmessage was, 'Welcome to Rio!'
Where does this behavior or language originate? Was it taught orjust inherent? It must go back to primitive days with men being thehunters and the gatherers. Maybe the men watched some of the localanimals attract their mates with whistles and catcalls and thought,since it worked for them, maybe it will work for me.
My Life With Wendy tip on warding off unwanted advances andmaintaining some privacy and space is to do just that. If you aregoing for a run, disguise yourself with dark glasses, a man's T-shirt and your hair in a baseball cap. Either that, or learn towhistle back. That might throw them for a loop.
And a note to the men who read my column: IT DOESN'T WORK. Ifyou're really out for a date, here's a suggestion. Try waving a hugediamond necklace on the end of a string. This might be a betterattention grabber. A simple 'hello' would also do.
Wendy Swift is a mother of four and an area freelance writer.Contact her at lifewithwendy@aol.com. For more, visitwww.lifewithwendy.com.
